1. |
Schenkerians
04:25
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I miss being in a place where I did not wish I were somewhere else
I feel like I have to move but I have awful motion sickness help
When being in love gets boring what words do you use
What do you do when the good life bores you
True to myself, an illusion to you
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2. |
Douse
04:25
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I was smitten and struck
And in some ways I'm still reeling
Still laughing and smiling and staring
And I still think about it
But I'm not sold and not lost
I'm not burning like Zelda not at all
I'm not dreaming but I'm smiling and staring
And I still think about it
I guess I'm convinced I will be
Lost, fallen, sold
And when I'm lying awake
Fighting for feelings in the dark
I get angry and sad
And think of her as something I could have
It's deathly quiet and people are sleeping
And I am gagged by their sleep
With no one to scream to
And i think of her as something I could...
I could...
All cruel and oppressive
With all the personal tenderness
Of an open wound
Leaking puss and blood
What I could...
I am straining to be still
But my neck tenses sorely
And I roll over
Thinking again and again
I might...
Unable or maybe unwilling to tear her
Away from my desire
The hunger of a war criminal
With all the grace of a free fall
I begin to think what it would be like to live underwater. I do this from time to time; picture myself sitting and breathing slowly under the weight of the water. I am cool and there are fragmented veins of light that come and touch me and remind me of where I was before. I was sitting in my room dreaming about her, and how I didn't love her.
I would dream about taking her places and talking. I would dream about taking her memories and her wishes and owning them myself. I would scare myself thinking about the times I might have with her, thinking about the me she might fall in love with. I might see myself happy with what I might become. I might finally see myself.
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3. |
Artifacts
02:13
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I sat by the sink
Your beloved organs fought protesting
I took care of you
Remembering whose are whose
Love i felt, glitches and artifacts
Love i felt, glitches and artifacts
You two, you two sat in the room
Your beloved hearts pumping in tune
You couldn't see me
But you took care of me
Love i felt, glitches and artifacts
Love i felt, glitches and artifacts
Sunshine, sunshine
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4. |
Slow Stride
03:08
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Slow stride
However prideful is
A walk half minded
When one’s mind is split.
In fog
And many slow mornings
Walk in clouded vision
When one’s mind is split.
Melodies are sometimes
Most delicate and graceful
Even in quick step and
Deliberate rhythm’s trance.
Sung like the peace in a bond
Like nights of Jane and Elizabeth’s
Sister sleep. peace in separate
And soul bound passions.
In fog
Now more than ever.
Thoughts are weakly doubted
When one’s mind is split.
Awake late at night in
Clearest darkness most serene
And most uncertainly between
An understood untethering
Or an indomitable loneliness
Standing around layers of
Falling white linen. they pour
Across stung rose like smoke
Graceful ink blots. sensible smog.
Spreading like stains in water.
One mind bore through by
Warmest red shrouded in blue.
Slow stride
A pendulum of thought
Arcs in agony
When one’s mind is split.
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5. |
You Have It
02:59
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I lied to you
I lied to you so you would not think you were hurting me
And because I did not want to believe
You were capable of hurting me
You are soft and warm and I hate
That I accidentally equipped you with jagged edges
I hate that I gave you the power to hurt me
But now you have it
And you will use it
Whether you like it or not
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